By Rolly Robinson
Hers are thick. His are thin. With tweezers in hand, where do I begin?
Eyebrows. Need I say more?
Though I'm obsessed with mine, I hate having to wake up everyday at the crack of dawn to pencil them in: those caterpillars of class walking across my face. Oh, how I love the look of a freshly groomed upper eye ridge. This bridge
of beauty is broken into two parts: the left and the right parts, which have been divided by a gap. If you have no bridge, then I'm sorry, but that's called a unibrow. Get it groomed!
It's unbelievable that something so stupid can end up being something we obsess and fret about. Even I find myself falling victim of this craze. When I see an ad, three things pop into my head: the clothes, the layout, and the person's eyebrows.
All right, I’m only exaggerating. Eyebrows may seem unnoticeable as strips of hair that have no meaning. Yet, why would I dare say something so crude as to say ‘no meaning’? They should have meaning. They help to distinguish both your emotions and your effort to have them groomed.
Whatever. For me, they are equally hard to
draw on. Sometimes the left is better than the right and vice-versa. Who cares, but do I? I guess so. Whenever I see someone, I tend to be a bit critical of their brows. No offense to you if I don't approve of what's on your face. It's just the way I am. I know I'm not the only one who is shallow about personal appearance to an extent, but I feel that life is too short to have a train wreck on one's face, especially in a location that's so obvious! C'mon people, tweeze, pluck, shave, wax it on or off.
What if everyone's eyebrows started walking off our faces? Scenario: Sally is sleeping and all of a sudden her strawberry blonde bundles of joy decide to just go take a stroll off her face as if they were pieces of possessed Velcro. Not only did they jump off her face, but they did a tiny dance next to her as she slept. I know th
at if my fuzzy friends obtained a mind of their own, I'd be completely fucked. Wouldn't we all look weird? E.T. weird. No! Whoopi Goldberg weird. Yeah... definitely that kind. Though something so small and pointless, it's annoyingly on my mind 24/7. I can't even put my hands over my face anymore without worrying if the
y're still there. That probably explains as to why water is my enemy, unless I'm taking a shower. You can't touch my face or hug my face without stopping before the sign I've posted between me and the rest of the world that reads: Yield for eyebrows.
So, the next time you think that eyebrows aren't worth taking care of, you're probably right. But you'll end up looking like a freak if you don't maintain them. So, in conclusion I advise you to wax on!
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